Mother's Love
by Broken-Devil
Summary: Christine can't watch Ashley's heartbreak for Spencer any longer.


**Title:** Mother's Love

**Author:** Broken-Devil.

**Disclaimer:** I don't claim to know own any of the characters or any musical reference, they belong to whomever they belong to, as my own characters (if any) belong to me. What I do own though, is a kick ass new Sky Line Picture in my bedroom; very New York themed now.

**Pairing(s):** Spencer and Ashley.

**Summary: **Christine can't watch Ashley's heartbreak for Spencer any longer.

**Authors Note: **This was written as I was listening to a song called _Happy Valentine's Day _by a band named _Billy Boy on Poison. _Now, it dosen't relate to anything south of nowhere at all so I mixed the lyrics up a bit and put them in different places to the song. It's just a different take on the ending of Season Two - and some of Season 2 - and beginning of Season Three, since I haven't broached that yet.

I've had a million and one ideas swimming around in my head recently which has resulted in about 15 seperate one-shots that just don't add up together but I do have a few new things in the works. This is just something that came out when I was waiting in the hospital with the father, hence it's jumpiness. Hope you like.

--

_All the kids are playing in the street again._

_While their mothers are busy smoking their cigarettes._

Ashley watched the smoke swirl out of her mothers lips elegantly, working it's way into the air, where it floated effortlessly to the fog above the women's heads. Five years old and Ashley is already full of knowledge about just what Mrs. Egan and her pool boy have been up to and what car that fabulous boy drove. It's a weekly thing her mother did and it was nice to see her smile. Sitting ankles crossed on red velvet chairs, the women, all mutton dressed as lamb her daddy would say, fawned over the adorable little brunette playing in the corner. Today though glasses of clear liquid, with a lime on the edge, were given out and everyone soon forgot about the sweet little girl.

Getting up, Ashley padded over to the window and stood on her tip-toes to watch what was going on outside. Anton and Jesika (with a K, thank you very much) were playing in the sprinklers. Bits of mud were stuck to their short legs and they seemed to be shouting and laughing and it looked fun. A little frown worked its way onto a brow and Ashley pouted at what her eyes were seeing. _She _never got to play in the sprinklers, ever, and it was her house! Well, it was daddy's house but she was his princess - so it belonged to her too. But these children, of the _maids_, got to play in _her _sprinklers. It didn't seem fair really.

She looked back at the gaggling quaret of women and then back outside. If she snuck out, just until they had finished that round of drinks, she could go and play with the other kids. It wasn't often she got to do that. Using her skills as a master sneaker - and you needed skills to get past Ava if you ever wanted a brownie before lunch - she crept her way out of the formal living room, which was too stuffy anyway, and quickly slipped her shoes on to run outside.

Anton had noticed her first, his green eyes lighting up at the prospect of a new friend to play with. He loved playing with Jesika but she was his sister, so the fun usually wore off after a while, plus he heard girls had cooties and that was gross.

This new bouncy one was a girl though. He'd have to be careful.

"Hi," Ashley spoke loud and clear, confident her mother would tell her.

"Want to play shark?" Asked the little blonde girl. Ashley eyed her warily but beamed big and bright at the innocent looking beauty in front of her, she seemed nice enough and they were basically all friends now. See, she wasn't really allowed to talk to strangers.

"What's that?"

And with all the candidness that only children possess, Anton explained the rules of shark - which, as Ashley would later notice, changed when it suited him - and they quickly got into it; screaming and running and gnashing their jaws like they really were Great Whites. Ashley was in the middle of lining up a perfect side tackle on the vunerable Anton when she was pummelled from the side by the sweet looking Jesika.

"Gotcha," the young girl grinned and Ashley pushed her off.

"Oh."

Ashley was bored now, having played the game for a whole ten minutes, and looked around for something else to do. Spying her daddy's car - the nice blue one- she quickly thought of a game where they could drive anywhere. Getting up and brushing herself down, Ashley started marching towards the expensive Jaguar, when she heard the shrillest scream she ever thought existed. Frozen in fear, Ashley didn't know whether to run away and cry or just stay still and hope for the best. Her little mind flew out of control and she span around to find her mother running towards her.

"Ashley!" Kneeling down, the eldest Davies cradled her child in her arms and pulled her in close.

"What?" Squirming away from the strong smell of perfume, and potentially embarrassing situation, Ashley fixed her faced in a defiant pose that would have been more effective if she didn't have a blade of grass stuck to her rosy cheek.

"You know you're not supposed to leave the house, young lady," Christine scolded, standing up and taking her daughters small hand roughly. "You had me worried sick. I didn't know where you had gotten too."

"I was bored."

"Ashley, this is no way for a young girl to behave. Running around and playing in the mud, look at you!" A sweeping gesture was made but Ashley was too busy waving goodbye to her two new friends. "...to get rid of that mud, hours."

Letting go of her mother's hand, Ashley bolted up to her bedroom and fell onto her bed; arms crossed and head deep in the crook. It just wasn't fair. Anton and Jesika didn't have to go inside and they didn't even live here. A few moments later Christine popped her head in, looking at her baby.

"Ashley," she started, unsure of how to deal with a tantrum. She'd given the nanny, Penny, a day off for working through the night.

"Is that drink you have magic? Like daddy says." Came the reply.

"I'm sorry?"

"Daddy has the same drink you have, with the fruit part," Ashley tried to explain, finding it difficult with limited vocabulary. "He says it's magic cause it makes him happy."

"Oh, Ashley."

"Cause, see, you have it and it makes you nice too." The brunette nodded to herself. She positioned herself so her feet were dangling off the edge of the bed and she swung them, completely missing her mother's crestfallen face.

"Am I not always nice?" She tried to keep her tone light, she really did.

"S'pose." Shrug.

"Why was I nicer today, Ash? Did I do something different?"

"I always go play out when you see your friends and I sit in daddy's car." Brown eyes looked up, innocent and wide like she wasn't breaking Christine's heart with each word. "Cause I get bored. I sometimes colour in the room with you but I don't always have the right colours and that's rubbish..." Going off on a tangent, Ashley forgot utterly what she was meant to be talking about and simply smiled at the mom when she ran out of steam.

"You always go outside, then?" To this, Ashley simply nodded hoping it answer enough.

"But you don't always come and look for me like you did today." Taking off her t-shirt and throwing it on the floor, Ashley looked up at Christine again. "Is Penny giving me my bath now, or Sophie?"

Christine watched as her daughter ticked off which woman had better bathtime routines and began to wonder how she'd lost the small, baby girl she had cried over in a mere five years.

_You can spend your life finding something in between._

_Just to have death knocking on your door._

_  
_Christine sighed deeply at the image of her and Ashley, only four years earlier, arms wrapped around one another in a sweet mother-daughter embrace. She was unsure of when it had all gone wrong. Sometime between Ashley admitting to being attracted to girls and Raife dying their mother-daughter bond had broken and it had seemed impossible to fix it.

And that had been okay for a while. She had her cruises and her men and her fabulous wardrobe and that was fine, it was nice. But inside, Christine wanted to make it right with Ashley. Sure, she hadn't been the best mother in the world but she had matured now, had watched from her private deck as mother's and daughter's sat and laughed and drank daquiris next to the boats pool. And Christine wanted that, knew Ashley would enjoy that, hated that she knew her daughter would say no.

Growing up, it hadn't always been fun. Her brother, Peter, had died on a tour with the army and it had shattered her parents. Her father, once a proud officer in the Navy, slowly gave way to drink and gambling and her upbringing depended entirely on her mother. The mother whom, in her own words, should never have been a mother. She'd fallen pregnant at the age of eighteen and an abortion was something she couldn't do, not when she was so in love. When Christine hit eighteen herself, she has hightailed it from the backend of Newport straight into LA and manipulated people into thinking LA was her _real _home.

What scared her was how much Ashley was like her.

Fiesty, confident, beautiful.

She knew Ashley didn't want to live with her anymore and that stung so she pushed her affections onto Kyla, who loved the attention. Sure, she saw Ashley getting jealous but both were too proud to make a move forward, to fix themselves.

It had been when she was sipping at a small glass on champagne on the deck of Tyler Pimlott's boat that it had really hit home as to how detached her and Ashley had truly become. As the dark haired man with the grey sideburns boasted about the latest deal that had gone through, something about a Porsche, Christine's wandering eye had caught a group of girls on the pier.

They stood together, with a few handsome looking boys close by but not in the picture, and smiled widely as a camera flashed. Between them they giggled and fixed each others hair and make up. An older man, maybe a father, kissed a pretty blonde on the cheek and warmly curled his hand onto a carefully made up face.

It was prom night.

Whatever Tyler was saying was forgotten as Christine hastily stood up and made her apologies - female problems - and quickly left the small yaght. Her heels furiously pounded the pavement as she made her way to the black Mercedes she knew was parked somewhere close.

Clambering into the car, Christine made the rarely done journey to King High and gasped at how many beautiful people out that night. Pulling the car to a stop across the street, she rolled down the tinted window and her eyes looked around for her daughter.

This was supposed to be a night mother and daughter bonded. She was meant to have spent the last few hours fixing the girls' make up, telling her she looked pretty however she wore her hair, reassuring her that her date would find her attractive even if she was a fumbling mess.

That hadn't happened though, had it? Neither Ashley, nor Kyla, had informed her of such a date and now she was missing it. Not that she could blame either of them, especially Ashley, where had she been all this time? She didn't even know herself.

Swallowing back tears, Christine went to put the car into drive when she saw it; her vision of beauty, her child. Looking beautiful in a stunning cream dress, Ashley stood out among her friends and the older woman almost broke down there. That was her baby, her beautiful little girl, and she looked like she was being ripped apart. From here she could see the tears and the drama.

But how could she help? What was she supposed to do?

Ashley didn't need her, didn't want her around, she never really had.

A crowd was gathering and she couldn't see Ashley anymore, she couldn't see anything but a sea of young adults anymore and she resigned herself to the fact that there would always be something between her and her daughter.

She had only driven less than a block before she heard the shots ring out.

_You can walk the streets for a virgin._

_Or go to church for a whore._

Taking Ashley away from it all had seemed the best option at the time. Her daughter had been up for it, smiling when the trip was mentioned and they had almost had a relitavely good time together. They went shopping, ate five-star food, drank from Christal glasses and mingled with the Hollywood elite. But Ashley was reserved, quiet and moody - she spent days in the hotel room, ignoring Christine and anything else that dared knock on the door.

Christine's heart broke more on that trip than any other because she just didn't know what was eating at her girl.

She had broached the topic of prom, of what had happened there, and in return she had gotten a scoff and the slamming of a door. She knew it was hard for Ashley, to lose people she knew in such a way; to see it happen in front of her. What made it worse is the girl wouldn't talk about it.

She'd watch Ashley sometimes, late at night, from the balcony doors opposite. She watched the curls fall over her gorgeous face and her heart clenched everytime she saw her daughter sob. She cried herself watching her; many times. Whatever pain her baby was in, it seemed unbearable for her to be going through it alone, but she wouldn't let Christine in.

It was late in the night when Christine finally had the courage to make the long journey to reach her daughter.

Unsteady with nerves, she made her way to the door but stopped outside when she heard Ashley's voice. Her heart broke, her child was sobbing - real heartwrenching sobs - and was trying to talk, to whom she didn't know.

_"Please...please, just...answer? I can't do this, I can't, it hurts so much,"_

Christine had almost barged in then but she held restraint, not moving just yet, hoping the right time would arise.

_"I'm sorry Spencer, I'm so sorry, God please help me make it right for her, only her..." _

Shocked to hear her girl praying, Christine stood firm outside the door and closed her eyes, her palm resting on the solid wood, as she tried to be there for Ashley in any way she could.

_"Let her be okay, please. I need her to be okay cause I fucked this up, I really did. I don't love Aiden, I never did, I - not like I love Spencer. God, make her better for me cause I can't make this right. I wish I could but I can't. I know you think it's wrong, what we're doing, but it's not - we're not wrong, we're perfect Lord. And I need you to know that, I need you to know Spencer is everything and she shouldn't be punished. Not by you, not by me, cause she's amazing. _

_I can't be right for her, I know that but I want to be, I want to be everything for her. I just got scared and I can't answer that phone and have her tell me how awful I know I am, cause she dosen't deserve to know someone like me, to find out how truly pathetic I am - not like this. _

_Let her be okay. Let her be coping, God, without me. She shouldn't have to go through this, so help her, please?"_

Having enough of listening to the heartbreak of her only child the dark haired woman - hair which had never faded in years - pushed open the door to the large bedroom.

"Ashley?" It was tentative and Christine actually froze when her daughter glared in her direction. In soft tan hands, the young teenager held a photo, worn at the edges, against her chest. "Ashley, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Brown eyes flashed and she made to move past her mother. They were going home tomorrow and Ashley pushed past her to make a start on her packing, she threw the empty suitcase onto the bed with surprising force and Christine jumped back from the hostility of it.

"You sound - you're not fine."

"You have no idea."

"Tell me."

"Tell you what, mother?" Ashley sounded irritated, annoyed, at the presence of Christine. "Tell you I've fucked up the only good thing in my life to go on a holiday with a mother who hasn't a clue? Tell you that I'm so in love with Spencer that I can't bring myself to answer the phone cause I'll lose it if I hear her voice? Tell you I just can't cope with knowing when I go back, when I see her eyes, I know that she's going to leave me?"

That final sentence broke Ashley's walls and she crumpled to the floor, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as her chest heaved and struggled against the lack of air. Stunned Christine stood silently before her instincts kicked in as a mother and she went to tend to her young. Kneeling down, and then folding her legs beneath her, Christine wrapped her only daughter into a tight embrace like she used to when she was a toddler.

It took a moment for Ashley to stop struggling against her but weary with emotion the brunette fell into her mothers arms and cried like she hadn't in years.

_You can meet me at the public execution._

_Or you can just drop by the mall._

Spencer was a beautiful girl, one of those girls you just knew you wanted to be friends with, regardless of anything else. She was sitting at a table, a frown marring her forehead, circling the top of her coffee cup with her finger.

Ashley was late, but Christine wasn't surprised, her daughter had been pacing her bedroom when she had left that morning deciding what to wear.

Walking over to the table the older woman almost chuckled at the shocked expression that adorned the girl's face.

"Hello Spencer," The blonde almost falls at the mention of her name and it's Christine's turn to frown. "I'm..."

"Ashley's mom," her voice is gravelly, not much like Ashley's, but it has a deeper tone to it. "Yeah we've met before." She brushes some hair out of her face and gives a confused look, her head tilting to the right a bit.

"Ashley's running a little late. She isn't sure what to wear to impress you," She tells the young girl, her tone almost implying like they always talk together like this.

"Oh, I was wondering where she was hiding."

"Spencer, I know you don't think I'm that great of a mother."

"Understatement," The blonde mumbles, just out of hearing for anyone outside the conversation, but Christine picks it up. It kills her.

"But I know Ashley a lot better than either of you give me credit for," sitting down across from the blonde, Christine hides her disgust well and pushes her efforts into making the blonde listen. "And I know that without you in her life she isn't the same girl."

"No. She isn't the same. She's straight now."

"What?" Christine furrows her eyebrows and looks across at Spencer, utterly confused.

"Well she's with Aiden now, right? Makes her straight." It's not hard to notice the heartbreak in the girls voice when she speaks and Christine wonders if the two girls actually talked, how would it sound? Just a symphony of broken hearts?

"Ashley isn't with anybody, Spencer." That causes blue eyes to snap up.

"But I saw...They were together."

"Spencer, I know I'm not always around and I don't pretend I know what goes through my daughter's mind at any given time. But after we went away, after what happened, I learnt a lot about her and about what she feels."

"Ashley's good at living in the moment, as it suits her." The blonde brings a hand up to her right eyebrow and runs her thumb across it, her eyes downcast towards the table; a crease form between her eyes.

"She loves you, Spencer. And whatever you think Ashley might have done, whatever you think you saw, it's not happening. She spends most of her time locked away in her bedroom, listening to Rock Music and looking at apartments she's going to be able to buy."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because my daughter, she isn't as confident and as loud as she likes to pretend. I've listened to her go over what she _wants _to say to you today but we both know she wont do it, because she's scared and vulnerable and just wants to do the right thing," Christine smiles at how close the two have gotten. Sure, they might never be like before but theres a bond there now; one where Ashley feels comfortable enough to tell her mother that she's nervous about meeting up with Spencer for coffee later that day.

"What does she want to say to me?"

"She's sorry and she loves you. Spencer, all Ashley wants is to spend time making it up to you. She wants to hold your hand and do that whole dating thing you two never really did. And, personally, I'd like you to do it - I don't want her growing up in another city, running from her problems and being too scared to face things head on. You can teach her, Spencer, she trusts you."

"Well I don't know if I can trust her."

"Work on it. You're only seventeen; you have a lifetime to work on it." Spotting her daughter, looking for all the world a nervous wreck on the other side of the diner, Christine stands up. "Don't lose your chance, even if you just stay friends, I only just learnt that in time."

Standing by the refridgerator, Christine chances a look over to Spencer who is just now greeting Ashley. The blonde grasps hold of Ashley's hand and leads her to the table, sitting them down and smiling at the brown eyed girl.

"Hi," she hears tentivley dribble from Ashley's mouth and she laughs a little at how adorable her daughter can be.

"Hey," replies Spencer, looking just as lovesick as Ashley. "I saw your mom."

"Yeah, she's been acting really weird lately, I think it's the menopause or something."

And as Ashley launches into her routine, Christine quietly makes her exit, ignoring the menopause comment and letting it slide this time.

Next time, well - she isn't too old to be grounded.


End file.
